Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
seeing your friends after they went out and had fun and “forgot” to invite you
crushes are great until you realize that they’ll never be interested in you
"you’re gonna be home alone for a bit"
my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’
Ladies, watch this video its only like 3 minutes long but i feel like a changed person.